(Watching a squirrel run up a tree and then jump to another tree)
Caleb: Where’s the squirrel?
Me: Look! Right there!!! It jumped!
Caleb: Oh jeez! It tricked me!!!
Me: Hmm, I think the remote control isn’t working.
Caleb: Let me see it. I probably can fix it.
(Pointing at Isla)
Caleb: That’s my girlfriend.
(In Lowes looking at paint supplies)
Caleb: Hey mama, we gotta get out of here.
(Playing on his toy phone)
Caleb: Hello. Hello! Can you bring two pizzas!? OK, thanks bye!
Caleb: Hey mama, pinch my booty!
Caleb: I gotta kiss your owie.
Me: It’s a zit, Caleb.
Caleb: Oh, I gotta kiss your zit then.Caleb: I drink your milk all gone. Did it go down the drain?
Me: No, it went from your mouth into your throat into your belly.
Caleb: Not into a drain!?!?
(Laying on the floor)
Caleb: Oh no, now I’m in the fire! Help!
Caleb: Daddy needs to go to work and get cash so we can play spider video games. He have to get cash.
(Handing me Legos to “eat”)
Caleb: Here’s your turtle ice cream and paghetti and goldfish.
(Handing me his hammer)
Caleb: Now you can have your lollipop!
(Talking to the Creepers on Minecraft)
Caleb: Hey, Gentlemen, you have a mommy?Me: Did you wear your new raincoat today?
Caleb: My jacket is too hard!
Me: Did your teachers help you put it on?
Caleb: NO! I have to do it myself. I have to be a big kid.
Caleb: Now I’m gonna cry. I need to calm down.
Caleb: I want to ride a bicycle to the ocean and say “trick or treat”!
Me: Caleb, do you need to go poop or pee?
Caleb: I need to poop; you can leave!
Caleb: Noo. Baby Iwah crying! She’s being obnoxious.
Caleb: I want to go to the Dentist again.
Me: Was it fun?
Caleb: I like Iwah. Iwah my best friend.
(After picking Caleb up from school)
Caleb: Hey mama, I didn’t hit any kids today!
Caleb: What’s that? Is that a rubberband? Is it a toy? Hey, mama, touch it. It’s a rubberband. I love rubberbands!
(Climbing into our bed in the middle of the night)
Caleb: Gimme some room mama, geez.
Caleb: I love squash. It tastes like candy.
Me: What does candy taste like?
Caleb: It tastes like cake!
Caleb: Baby Iwah needs to go back in the tunnel in your bagina.