(I brought home cupcakes)
Caleb: Mama, where’s lavender cupcake?
Me: I ate it! It’s in my belly now.
Caleb: (pulling up my shirt and looking at my belly) I don’t see it!
Caleb: Mommy, where is thunder and lightning?
Me: It’s nice outside. It only thunders and lightnings when it’s rainy.
Caleb: I scared. I hide from thunder. Mommy, I wanna see thunder.
Caleb: Look! It’s a zebra!
Me: Caleb, that’s a not a zebra. It’s a giraffe. Not the same thing.
Caleb: Giraffe. Not the same.
Me: Right, giraffes and zebras are not the same thing. They both have patterns but are not the same.
Caleb: (to himself)… they’re the same thing.
(Holding a blueberry up and looking at it)
Caleb: Mmm, blueberry- you’re delicious.
(On the way to the zoo…)
Caleb: We go see pigs. Pigs scare mommy!? No, mommy’s belly too big. I feed goats. I wash hands with Keela. WHOA- that’s a big truck! Mama, look! Water. I wanna go in there. Is it like ocean? I wanna go snorkel like Move It Move It (what he calls the movie Madagascar). WHOA! LOOK AT THAT TRAIN! I wanna go in there. Like Move It Move It. You can’t go in there. I can’t talk. I FEED GOATS! Whoa, look at all those big buildings! We almost there! You have to be patient! I don’t want to be patient! I see meerkats and feed goats!
(Comes up to me with wet undies on)
Caleb: Mommy, take off my stinky diaper.
Me: Caleb, what color is this? (holding blue)
Me: What color is this? (holding green)
Me: What color is this? (holding yellow)
Me: What color is this? (holding gray)
Caleb: Ummmmm….no one knows?
Caleb: Mommy, I have a great idea!
Me: Oh really, what’s that?
Caleb: Here you go Bubby! (as he hands Butters his snack)
(Pointing at a seagull)
Caleb: Mommy, look! A seacock!
Me: What are you doing?
Caleb: Nothing, just hanging out.
(After pulling out the iPad and opening a beat maker app)
Caleb: I making Deadmau5 beats.
Me: Caleb, I need help up. Can you help mommy get up?
(Putting his hand out to help me up)
Caleb: (Grunting and pulling) You’re too big…
Me: Caleb, it’s too early for crackers. You can have crackers after lunch.
Caleb: I. WANT. MY. PUB MIX!!!!
Caleb: Is it black in here!? I don’t want black.
Me: It’s dark so we can turn on your turtle and look at stars (he has a cool turtle that projects stars onto the ceiling)
Caleb: Oh no, mommy black! I can’t see mommy.
(Showing Caleb videos of natural birth)
Caleb: Whoa, what’s she doing!?
Me: She’s making noise because she has to get the baby out.
Caleb: Whoa! She’s a dinosaur!!!
(Sitting out in the sun)
Caleb: Whoa, mommy hot! Mommy really hot! Mommy’s mole not hot.
(While driving in any area with tall buildings)
Caleb: IS THAT SEATTLE!?!?!? I want to go in tunnels in Seattle. Mama, look! It Seattle!!!
(Grabbing Chloe’s face)
Caleb: Chloe, these are all my toys. They are mine.
Me: Caleb, you have to share. She is just laying by them.
Caleb: OK, Chloe. Here you go. (trying to give her a toy)
Caleb: I say hi in July to baby sister. She can’t talk. Does she have a mouth? She’s too little. I build crib with screws today! We might not have enough. Have to go to Home Depot. I play the music for her and you have to be quiet. Baby sister sleep and you have to be quiet. You have to share. Is baby sister gonna say hi? I don’t want her to.
(Leaving the cash register at Target and the woman forgot to ask Caleb if he wanted a sticker)
Caleb: Hey! I want a sticker!
(In the car listening to The Who’s Who Are You)
Caleb: Mommy, turn it up. I like this song!
Caleb: Does it smell like soup in here?
Caleb: Does it smell like poop in here?
(Every time we ask him)
Me/Ty: Caleb, what do you want for lunch/dinner?
Caleb: Pea Butter Jelly!
(Each day before nap/bed Caleb has the strangest conversations with himself. These are all at different occasions)
Caleb: Get out of here Wall-E. This is my big kid bed.
Caleb: Mommy bogey and Daddy albatross.
Caleb: Come in the water Caillou; you can splash me.
Caleb: No, Yes! No, Yes! No. You need to be nice.
Caleb: Whoa, that’s the jungle. I don’t want to go in the jungle. It’s OK, jungle all gone.
Me: Do you want some hot chocolate?
Caleb: (in a horrible British accent) No, I want a spot of tea.
(Talking to Isla)
Caleb: Hi, sweet boy.
Me: Caleb, she’s a girl.
Caleb: Hi, sweet grill.
(Standing outside waiting for thunder and lightning)
Caleb: Mama, is that the storm cloud?
Me: No. The storm will come when you see the rain.
Caleb: Where’s the thunder and lightning at?
Me: It’ll show up when it is raining and storming.
Caleb: I can’t wait to show mama the storm cloud.
(Fighting nap time)
Caleb: No, I don’t want baby Iwah in here.
Me: OK, I am going to go lay her down then.
(I come back without Isla)
Caleb: NO!!! I want baby Iwah back! No!
Caleb: I’m going to play mini-golf mama. It goes round and round. I get a hole in one! Remember this!
Caleb: Ohh, I’m a doctor. No, I don’t want to be doctor! Doctor here. No, not a doctor!
Caleb: Mommy, your belly not big!
Me: Wow, thanks Caleb. It”s still kind of big from Baby Isla.
Caleb: It small. Your boobies small too!
Ty: That’s a lie.
Caleb: I want some crackers.
Ty: There are no more.
Caleb: I want to see the bag!
(After Ty put a cookie in his mouth)
Caleb: What are you eating Daddy!?
Ty: It’s bread…
Caleb: I want to see in your mouth!
(Laying next to Isla)
Caleb: I wuv you baby Iwah. Gimme kiss.