The other night, as I got ready to take a shower, I looked down at my body and thought “who’s body is this!?” Let me start by saying that I am not freaking out about my pregnant body I am just sort of in awe of it. This pregnancy is so very different from my pregnancy with Caleb. Maybe it’s because I am older and the changes are affecting me more or maybe it’s because I am chasing a toddler and working (I didn’t work the 3rd trimester when I was pregnant with Caleb because I had the summer off) or maybe it’s just because my pregnant body is different this time.
I sort of thought it would be the exact same experience. I should have known once the horrendous morning sickness kicked in that this one would be different. With Caleb, I felt glorious and beautiful. Seriously, I felt amazing and thought I looked amazing too. This time, I just feel really tired. I remember one time when I was pregnant with Caleb, I was in Target and I was really pregnant. I dropped something, picked it up and a woman said “how did you do that!?” I said, “do what!?” I had no idea that bending over was tough. I told her I have a long torso so there was a lot of room for the baby to move. I bragged about how easily I could shave my legs too. Now I realize, it might have been so easy because Caleb was breech up until about 35 weeks. It didn’t hurt to bend over because his mass was so high up in my belly. This time, I’m in my 28th week and bending over is killer sometimes. And sometimes it hurts! This baby has been head down the entire time and I feel her bulk in my lower abdomen, so bending over is rough, especially because I swear I feel her hand jabbing me when I try to bend.
I don’t feel beautiful like I did with Caleb either. I am sweaty in class, I get winded and I feel really tired most of the time (thankfully I just found out I am anemic so that might explain some things). I got hot with Caleb but that was at the end of my pregnancy during July and August. This time I am sweaty in the Pacific Northwest in April.
My nipples are bigger and darker too. These things didn’t happen last time. My breasts got bigger but that’s it. I look at my breasts now and think “these babies are built for food”. They don’t look like my breasts…they look like they belong to someone else. I sometimes stare at them because I have never seen them before on my body and I am not use to them. My butt is bigger this time too. Not wider, but bubblier (is that a word?) I already have a big butt so adding more is not my idea of fun. I feel like I am carrying a baby in my belly and my butt. A butt baby.
So what’s better this time? My nose isn’t getting bigger! This is definitely different. With Caleb, my nose got wider and so far that hasn’t happened. Yahoo! I am also still wearing my wedding rings. I do get swelling but my rings still comfortably fit. I had to take them off around 30 weeks with Caleb because my fingers were too swollen. I am able to squat a lot more this time. Not necessarily something that people can see but I try to do the hunter-gatherer squats as much as possible and I am really hopeful these will help in labor and delivery. (Getting up from the squat is always a challenge because I’m off balance).
The other day Caleb’s teacher told me I was blooming beautifully. I decided that this is the only way we should address pregnant women; it made me feel good. I have 80 days to go until our estimated due date. I imagine it will only get more intense. I am getting really excited to me this little girl but I am also really nervous and it feels sort of surreal.