Eating Crow

Did you know that a flock of crows is called a “murder”. It all makes so much sense…

In March, I wrote about my love of bird art (here) but I also mentioned that birds give me the creeps. I had planned on writing this post during my Spring break in March, but that didn’t happen. Here’s why:

During break I looked out our window and spotted an injured crow in our front yard. It clearly had a broken wing. If you know anything about me you should know I LOVE animals. I’m not exaggerating when I say I rescue animals often. It seems like they know to find me. One of my friends said they must sent a distress call out like “go to this address, the crazy woman there won’t resist your neediness”. Fact.

So, I decide to look up on the interweb what I should do. I watched it for a day, then went to a pet store and asked what to do. They told me to put cat food out so it wouldn’t starve. After three days (I am clearly shortening this saga for you because Manfriend would tell you I stared out the window all day watching the crow to make sure it was OK). The next day I called PAWS and they said to catch the crow and bring it in or it would starve to death. So, in my quest, I fashioned a box with air vents and tried to “catch” the crow with a queen size sheet. That jerk was quick. Gimp wing and all- that bird was a runnin’ fool. I didn’t catch it.

The next day, I pulled into our driveway and the crow was there! Success. I jumped out and ran after it. As I chased it I could hear crows above me screaming. I imagined them yelling “she’s going left”, “run right”, “go under the car”, “she can’t see you over there”, “faster, Robert”! At one point I almost had it, I lost it because I almost fell over our embankment. Apparently, Manfriend was watching me out the window during the pursuit; I’m sure the whole thing was pretty amusing. I didn’t catch the crow. Later that day I saw the crow laid out on its back with a swarm of crows attacking it. Those crows I imagined shouting directions to help the injured crow were more than likely saying “he’s ours”, “get ‘im”, “dinners a’comin”! Assholes.

So imagine my surprise when this last week I got out of my car and found a small crow in our front yard. It couldn’t fly and it wasn’t running from me. I could see some injuries on its back (they looked like peck marks, the asshole crows again, I’m sure). I ran in my house, grabbed a sheet and put the crow in a diaper box. Success! I then began to do more research on the crow. I knew it was too small to be an adult but too big to be a baby. It was a fledgling. I also read that birds fall out of their nests on purpose! QUOI! The nest isn’t safe for them and I read that crows will wander on the ground until they can fly with their parents protecting them from afar. I also read that crows stay with their parents for six months. Where were this crow’s parents? Probably murdered by the ravenous crows that creep my block!

The crow stayed in my basement for 24 hours. I imagined the crow looking at me and asking “Are You My Mother” every time I checked on it. Which was a lot. I was shocked at how well it looked the next day! I took it where PAWS directed me to and as I carried the crow in it began cawing (I think once the sun hit it). When the woman asked me what was in the box I replied “a crow”. As I said it I looked down and the crow had its head poking out of the box. I screamed. Literally. Slasher film scream. In that moment my bird fear cam spewing out and then I frantically said, “I’m scared of birds!” I thrust the box at her, gave a donation and left.

I thought I was doing really well until that mutha creeped out of the box on me. I didn’t realize how much they scared me until that moment. Am I embarrassed? A little. But my embarrassment is replaced by the fact that I feel really good that I helped save something I disliked so much. From here on out- I will look at crows a little differently. You know they are as smart as 10 year olds, right? {Shudder}

P.S. You should donate to your locate animal/wildlife rescue societies. They do wonderful things and save lives…

P.S.S. “Are You My Mother” is one of my all-time favorite children’s books. I read it the other night and it is still so good!


2 thoughts on “Eating Crow

  1. Havent’ read the “Are You My Mother” book, BUT I bet it isn’t as good as “I Love You Stinky Face” which is the cutest book ever…EVA!

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