Last year I semi-celebrated Mother’s Day. Since Caleb was still baking I got a bunch of “Mother-to-Be” cards and it was really sweet. I felt like a bit of a mom since I was incubating him. This year is different. It feels different. Maybe it is because I now attach such a stronger meaning to the word “mother” but I know it has everything to do with the fact that my heart feels like it could explode each time I look at Caleb (especially when he smiles).
Manfriend (and Caleb) got me a necklace but I opened it last month. On the real day, I woke up to the sweetest homemade card from Manfriend and Caleb (it is so flippin’ sweet), Manfriend made me breakfast, I took a long nap, my sister brought over some of her mother-in-law’s kimchi, I got yummy Starbucks, and T-Bone steaks for dinner. Seriously, it was amazing. The best.
Reading Aimee’s post a few weeks ago “My Mother Did This For Me” really got me thinking. All of these things I am doing for Caleb are things my mom did for me. And for a long time she was a single mother. How the hell did she do that and raise three kids? I am amazed…and so thankful. Do all mothers feel this type of love that I feel for Caleb? It isn’t even possible to describe but it feels like this love is close to suffocating. In a good way, of course. It’s just the only way I know how to describe it.
On this day I think about my friend who cannot conceive children on her own. She has tried for many many years. She wants to experience this love, and she will once her adoption goes through, but I can only imagine how much it hurts her to see women around her who are pregnant. To see me pregnant and now with a baby. It takes a strong woman to go through infertility and I thought of her on Mother’s Day. She deserves it.
I also admire my friends who have gone through miscarriages. I have no idea how it feels but I know it is heartbreaking. On Mother’s Day I thought of my friend who deserved to hear that she did a great job for the short time she was pregnant. I know she was bonded with her baby right away and I cannot imagine how she felt to lose her baby. She deserved to be thought about on Mother’s Day too.
I think it is important to celebrate all of the mamas out there. Being a mom is hard but I have the best support. I have the best partner. I couldn’t do it alone and I know how lucky I am to have Manfriend.
P.S. I picked up Tina Fey’s book and yes, it is just as funny as I had imagined. She is pure comic genius. Not even kidding, her definition of “crotch biscuits” had me scream-laughing in the car. You should probably read Bossypants. You won’t be let down.