(Get the song reference there?*)
I went back to work this week and I am more than a little nervous about the whole situation. Actually, I have been so stressed out about it that I haven’t really thought about anything else for the past three weeks. I wasn’t really nervous about going back to work but more nervous about how the whole routine would work with Caleb.
The biggest stresser (of my life, I swear) was trying to find day care for our little boo. The weirdest thing ever is that almost all of the places I called are phasing out their infant rooms- or don’t take infants all together. I really really should go on a 20 minute rant about how this is a social injustice to those parents who need state assistance and are required to work to get it. How the heck can they work and have their kids in childcare when places won’t even take infants! Such a disgusting Catch 22. Now, I have first hand experience with one of the flaws of our “system” but fortunately we don’t fit into that group. Moving on…
Our savior is one of my dear friends. He has agreed to watch Caleb for three hours until he finds work in the field in which he just finished school. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am. Seriously, I got off the phone with him when he agreed to do it and exhaled and felt so much relief. I love that Caleb gets to be with someone fun and I love (even more so) that I’m not stressing out at work wondering how he is doing. Seriously, this is the one thing I am most thankful for right now. So far, Caleb has been pretty good for him. I think it will be stressful until he “gets” Caleb’s nuances down but I think Caleb will benefit from being with him a lot. It’s a new place, he gets to see and do new things, and I am sure Caleb will have a close bond with him for life! Once he can no longer watch Caleb, we will put him in day care but he should only be in there for a few months until he turns a year old. Then we can put him in the Child Development Center where I work and that place is fabulous! So fabulous, in fact, that we just had to put his name on a wait list…9 months early!
I was strangely nervous that I would go back to the classroom and my “cool factor” would be gone. OK, my “cool factor” is gone solely because I just referred to it as that! Since I was gone Fall quarter, I didn’t get to meet the new cohorts so I haven’t established a relationship with them yet- which hopefully will get better. I like to think I am the young, hip professor but I know that will change as I get older. (One student already questioned how I could even know who Lil Wayne is…) The reality though, is that my cool factor has dwindled a bit…I can tell. I’m just not as hip as I once was…(sniffle)
And lastly- I am going back to work less stressed out ABOUT work. Seriously, I am taking this year easy. I plan on still doing my regular workload but not being so worried that I cover ever single thing I plan on. I am putting more accountability on my students and I think they will benefit from it tremendously. But…I am excited too! I am excited to go back to work. I am excited to get ready for work again and put on makeup cause man, I have been slacking in the looks department lately. I am excited to interact with people. I love me some Caleb but he doesn’t want to talk social issues yet. I am excited for the noise in the hallways. I am excited to get a bigger paycheck (since I made a pittance last quarter with only two courses). I am excited to see my old students and coworkers. I am excited to show off pictures of Caleb and talk about the new man in my life. I am excited to get back to what I love: teaching a subject that not only educates people about diversity but hopefully inspires them to look at things from a different perspective and to learn to accept others’ differences.
ETA: I’ll have to update after the first week since reality surely did kick in…and it was hell.*It’s Notoroius B.I.G.’s “Going Back to Cali”.