Adventures of Double Boob

This sucks. If you’ve never experienced “double boob” than you are on of the fortunate ones. I am a firm believer in wearing the appropriate bra size and getting measured by a professional yearly. This keeps “double boob” at bay. If you are wearing the correct bra size, you shouldn’t worry about this affliction. (However, I believe they say the statistic is that 90% of women aren’t wearing the correct bra size…so you should go get measured just to be safe!)

The term  “double boob” but is the same as “quadra boob”…in case you were confused. I never use “quadra boob” though  because it just doesn’t roll off of the tongue like “double boob” does. According to Urban Dictionary, “quadra boob” is defined as: what happens when a too small bra is used on a too big boob squeezing two perfectly round boobs into four smaller ones. This is a picture of Pam Anderson sporting “double boob” to the fullest!

I believe when I was 5 weeks pregnant was when I first noticed “double boob”. Keep in mind that I already have large breasts so imagine how happy I was when my breasts started growing at 5 weeks pregnant! I was having lunch with a friend and I said “look at my boobs. I have double boob”. I pulled my scarf back…(because I wear scarves now not only because they are fashionable but because they mask my double boob should it appear without my knowledge) and showed her my awesome “double boob”. Her response was “yeah, that’s double boob”.

So now, my breasts are growing at a rapid rate and my bras cannot keep up with them. Just this morning on our walk Manfriend looked at me and said “Whoa, your boobs are jiggling everywhere”. Thanks buddy. But to be honest, you couldn’t avoid seeing them if you wanted to and at this point- he was just pointing out the obvious.

This whole “double boob” reminds me of the Dave Chappelle stand up where he says “her titties are all mashed together and poppin’ out the top of her turtle neck sweater.” Such an eloquent saying but it couldn’t be more perfect in describing what it feels like to discover that you are a “double boob” offender. So now, I need to buy new bras to keep up with the growth. This isn’t cheap so I am very thankful it won’t last forever. Here is a pretty horrible picture I made in Paint to represent what I feel like:I guess I cannot escape the double boob for long; I can only cater to it. Sometimes that is what the “Journey to Thirty” is all about. Somethings are inescapable and we just have to conform to make it work for us. Double boob does suck, but it’s nothing a larger bra won’t fix. And besides, I’d rather be thankful to have “double boob” right now than no “double boob” at all if it means the baby will have lots to eat!

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